We are gearing up for preschool next week, and I'm in a total bind. Jayce has a late birthday and won't be going to school for another couple of years. However, a fun girl in my ward runs a preschool for his age group two days a week for a couple of hours . . . and I enrolled Jayce back in January due to high demand. Now that we're nearing the date (September 4), I'm starting to question my decision. Two months ago he would have been fine . . . he liked going to Sunbeams, he looked forward to playing at Kellsie's "All by myself," and he constantly praised his big-boy status. However, he's totally reversed the last while and hates to be without me whatsoever. He refuses to go to Sunbeams, he cries when he's left with his favorite person, Uncle Bryan, and he can't even be in a room without me without coming to find me after a couple of minutes of panicking. He's basically been smothering me, and I'm not sure what to do.
By the way, this whole anxiety started up when Jeremy started working long hours at his new job. I'm thinking he's having a hard time because Jer's abandoned him -- or so he thinks (it's hard to describe the necessities of work and food on the table and a mortgage to a three year-old). Isnt' that horrible? Seriously, though, Jer's hours are ridiculous! Things need to change.
I've been breaking down the pros and cons of attending:
Pros
He needs to socialize with other kids
He gets SOOO bored during the day and loves structure
He needs to know that he'll be okay without me -- if only for a couple of hours -- and that I'll always come back to get him
I'll get some one-on-one time with Alyssa
Cons
He still has two years until school, so I could wait another year
I don't want him thinking that I don't want him around . . . that's so not the case!
What if he's miserable and stressed if I'm not with him?
I guess we could try it . . . if he's a wreck I could always back out. However, what is the misery limitation? I mean, maybe he's miserable for the first five minutes, but then he has a blast the rest of the time. However, I don't want to battle with him just to get him there. Ugh! The dilemma! His favorite saying is, "I don't want to go to preschool," and I hear it constantly. The guilt is already mounting! Wish us luck!
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12 comments:
Well you can probably guess my amazing input...there is always the other option I talked to you about earlier, and it gives you another month or so to get him ready then they can go together... and if its a bad day, they just don't have to go. (We could also carpool - you can only go to Sam's club so many times in one week right?)
One day in the very near future, your sweet little son will be a 1st grader and going to school ALL DAY. Like I mentioned before. It's all about the baby steps. This is a great opportunity for you to "let go" just slightly. Giving Jayce confidence in himself and realizing that he will see you when "his day" is done.
And great for you to realize that YOU will be just fine. Oh, your heart will always ache to have him home. But he wont be. He'll grow up just like you did and leave the nest just like you did.
You turned out pretty good.
Hey Lisa, I totally feel your pain, I remember leaving Jake at preschool for the first time it was terrible. But, a wise teacher told me that everything would be fine and he would get used to me dropping him off and eventually be excited to go to school. I think it took about 3 times before he was finally excited to go to school, and has loved it ever since.
I think it is great to send your kids to preschool!! It gives them so much confidence and helps them so much socially before they get ready for kindergarten. (another wise teacher told me that) I have even seen it in my own children. I think Jace will do great he will probably do better in sunbeams as well.
That's a tricky one! Hopefully he'll really enjoy it after all the "unknowns" in his little mind are answered. Maybe you could stay for the first day or two so you can both get used to it together. That's what I'm going to do with Ty. Good luck!
So, I'm afraid I'm also a preschool advocate. We did the Joy School thing with Syd last year which did allow her to be at our house once a month...but it required her to be elsewhere the other three. She did so well and all of my fears were put to rest at the end of the first week. I know he will love it after he sees what is involved. Have you gone to buy him a new backpack or something like that to make it fun? Syd was SO into having her own backpack. Even if there was nothing to put in it...it was one of the fun things for her about school and made her feel so "grown up." Maybe you could even put something special in it from you so he has a reminder...even when you're not there. Good luck! It's so hard...but so worth it when you see them learning and progressing! Hugs!
Ahhh, just push him in and go get a pedicure! Just kidding. He will work it out. He is a total tough guy. and if not don't make him go on that particular day, or pull him all together. You're a totally good mom. You won't screw him up!
BTW - Krew initially didn't want to go to preschool. The first day he had so much fun he said, "Thanks mom for letting me go to school."...5 minutes later..."I hate school I don't want to go!"
Im waiting another year. Go with your gut.. if it says let him go, let him go. If it says he isnt ready, let him stay home. You know best, dont let it eatatcha. :) You are a good Mom!
Do what you think is best for Jayce. No one else can dictate that but you. Pray, Pray, Pray... It gave me the much needed answer I needed in this situation. Good luck!
Thanks for all the great advice! We went to Orientation today, and Jayce seems excited (although I'm not sure how long it'll last, but I'll take it). We'll see how it goes and we'll figure it out. You definitely gave me some things to think about.
I'm just checking the blog and pre school is the best! Shane is the same way but cried for me to see to make me feel guilty but was done in about 30 seconds. He loves pre school and his behavior at home changed for the better and is now fine in sunbeams. It's good for them to get ready for kindergarten and for them to have their own thing. He'll do great and so will you. I second the backpack thing, Shane is all about the backpack!
Try it at least. I had Abby go to a home preschool 2 days a week last year and it was wonderful! She was clingy at first but by the end of week 1, it was "see ya mom!"
I think it is fine to start pre-school early. My nephew Aydan (Jayce's birthday buddy) started preschool in Feb of this year. He absolutely loves it! He is so excited. He went from barely talking to talking all about his preschool and his teacher. I am sure you are right about him having issues with other changes in his life, but that doesn't mean he can't handle more changes. Kids are very resilient and the structure would be so great for him! Good luck!!
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